Book Review – Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate
By · May 5, 2010 · Comments
by Patti Stanger
When I first saw the title of this book, my heart sank. You know when you have an idea for a great new product and you procrastinate and then you walk by a store window and there in the window is your idea!
I have been teaching our 4 Step Process for Attracting Your Perfect Mate for over 7 years, and I just started this blog, and I have all these notes for writing a book. I was so jealous when I first saw the title of Patti’s book. I felt like Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting, “He stole my line”.
Then I started watching The Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo regularly and I read the book. WOW! This is truly an amazing woman and her book is BRILLIANT! The introduction is a must read. It explains everything you see on the TV show. (see short video below) Patti Stanger has been there and done that and lived to share her wisdom in an informative and most entertaining way. For example on page 14 of the introduction she exposes that she went to a “spiritual santero” to cast a spell that would bring “Mat” back to her. The spell works and Mat comes back, however, looking back, Patti realizes she actually wanted control, and that is what she got when Mat showed back up. She got controlled for three years.
That is the Universal Law of Attraction. Each of us is like a radio transmitter sending out our true vibration, and you can know what you are sending out by noticing who you are attracting to listen to your station.
I like to say, “If you want to know who you are BEE-ing, take a look at who you are attracting. If you don’t like what you are attracting, no problem, take out your Perfect Mate Attraction Plan and shift your BEE-ing.
Now that brings up Step Two in Patti’s book. Mirror, Mirror. This chapter is all about “What’s on the Outside DOES Count. Some people may be turned off by this chapter because they think it’s what’s inside that really counts.
I can understand that reaction, however, the conversation is really about mastering balance of both inner and outer beauty. Balance is not having a preference for one over the other and that is a whole other book – my book.
My chapter will be titled Mirror, Mirror, Mirror because there are three different types of relationship mirrors:
- The mirror of who you have been
- The mirror of where you are now
- The mirror of your potential
Step Two of Patti’s book is a great place to start. It provides practical and valuable tips on mastering outer beauty.
Once you have mastered the ‘looking good’ on the outside, one of Patti’s most perfect practical tips is, “No sex until monogamy”, there is a good reason for this tip; oxytocin bonding. Trust me, if you don’t already know what that is, you will want to buy Patti’s book just for that information. It could save you years of suffering and heart ache.
There is also the fact that the more intimate the relationship the larger the opportunity for spiritual growth and healing your separateness from God, and that supports another of Patti’s great tips:
”Finding the right guy is like finding the perfect pair of shoes…. You want to be able to stand and walk in them for blocks and still be comfortable.”
I found a lot of other great tips like the one in Step Four on page 123, “YOU CAN’T CHANGE HIM!” followed by “Every woman thinks sex is the glue, and they are so wrong.” (hint, it is what makes you tick that makes you stick – see Step Two of your Perfect Mate Attraction Plan)
This book will truly prepare you to Become Your Own MATCHMAKER and support you in Attracting Your Perfect Mate.
I unconditionally recommend this book to anyone who is single and dating or wants to be married, or in a committed relationship. AND, I now realize why I am attracted to Patti. She is mirror # 3 for me - ”The mirror of my potential” : )
And as always, you are invited to share in the conversation by adding your thoughts and comments below.
Jan H. Stringer and Alan Hickman are Law of Attraction Experts, Co-founders of Perfect Customers, Inc. AttractingYourPerfectMate.com, Co-Authors BEE-ing Attraction: What Love Has To Do With Business and Marketing A Guidebook for Developing A Heart-Centered Business & Life and BEE A Biz Wiz
Attracting your perfect mate supports you in spiritual relationship, dating, dating advice, dating tips, law of attraction, relationship advice, relationships, self-help
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How to Get Some Instant Relief For A Broken Heart
By · April 30, 2010 · CommentsDo you need a healing from the feeling of loss and grief resulting from a relationship breakup?
If so, I totally and completely understand what you’re going through and what you’re feeling because I’ve been there where you may be now and I promise there is hope.
I have been through relationship breakups that we’re so painful I thought I was going crazy. I have been on the floor in a ‘puddle of tears’ or cried myself to sleep because my grief was so great and I didn’t think it was ever going to end.
However, I lived through it and now it is part of my mission in life to help settle many people into the role of their spiritual selves and heal as quickly as possible so they don’t have to go through what I went through.
One day, in the midst of my suffering, a good friend said what I needed was to “get to know my inner child“, and he gave me a CD to listen to while going to sleep that night. I can’t tell you what a blessing it was for me. This music gave me instant relief and I want to share it with you so you can get some relief, if you need it, right now too.
Shaina Noll is a global leader of transformation. To me she is a True Medicine Woman. Her music is a pure vibration through which support for healing flows instantly, and effortlessly.
However, don’t take my word for it. Watch and listen to this amazing music video for yourself; have a conversation with YOUR inner child and share it with anyone you feel might benefit.
And as always, you are invited to share in the conversation by adding your thoughts and comments below.
Jan H. Stringer and Alan Hickman are Law of Attraction Experts, Co-founders of Perfect Customers, Inc. Co-Authors BEE-ing Attraction: What Love Has To Do With Business and Marketing A Guidebook for Developing A Heart-Centered Business & Life and BEE A Biz Wiz
Are You Receiving Acknowledgment?
By · March 28, 2010 · CommentsWe are more attractive when we practice receiving acknowledgment
First, remind yourself that these tips are always about playing with ways to bring more love, fun, and joy into your life and your businesses.
So, let’s play with this exercise…
Today, visit or call three people who know you well and let them know you are playing a game to practice receiving acknowledgment. Ask them to assist you in completing this game by telling you something they admire about you.
Your mission is to listen quietly while they tell you how wonderful you are. Just drink it in. When they finish, you will simply say “thank you.”
Nothing more is necessary.
Then, if you so desire, you ask them if you may acknowledge them in the same way so that you may also practice giving acknowledgment.
Leave a comment if you are ready to play.
Now that’s attractive!
QUOTABLE QUOTE
“When you make it a goal to create the perfect relationship between you and your body, you are learning to have a perfect relationship with anyone you are with, including your mother, your friends, your lover, your children, your dog. When you have the perfect relationship between you and your body, in that moment your half of any relationship outside you is completely fulfilled. You no longer depend on the success of a relationship from the outside.” — Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Mastery of Love”
Are You Attracting Perfect Relationships?
By · February 7, 2010 · CommentsWe are more attractive when we are attracting more perfect relationships.
The foundation of this tip is “The Golden Rule”…. do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
When you create a BEE-ing Attraction plan to attract to you the type of relationship that is perfect for you, you are actually creating an agreement with yourself.
First, you identify the qualities and characteristics of people who are a perfect fit for you to be in relationship with.
Then, you specify what YOU want these perfect fit relationships to expect of you.
When you clarify what YOU WANT them to expect of you, you begin to ’heal the separation between you and all past “less than perfect” relationships and you become ever more attractive in the world.
Turns out your perfect mate wants from you what you want to be in the relationship.
Now that’s attractive!
QUOTABLE QUOTE
“Acknowledgement is the only way to keep love alive.” Barry Long
The First Priority of Attracting Your Perfect Mate
By · February 1, 2010 · CommentsWe are more attractive when we are clear whom we are like
If ‘like attracts like’, then knowing yourself is the first priority of attracting more perfect mate.
Your BEE-ing Attraction™ Plan is a powerful tool to assist you in knowing yourself and allows you to become more clear about the qualities, characteristics, and attributes of your perfect mate, AND what YOU WANT your perfect mate to expect of you.
Without this clarity, the actions you take are based on assumptions.
Conversely, WITH this understanding of yourself, you will be more clear on the ‘attractive’ actions you are to take, to fulfill on what you say you want in a relationship that is a perfect fit for you.
What ‘attractive action’ has become more clear to you today? Leave a comment as your declaration now.
Now that’s attractive!
QUOTABLE QUOTE:
“When I know who I am, I am you,
When I don’t know who I am, I serve you.
When I serve you, I know who I am.” – Hanuman – The Ramayana
Are You Choosing To Lead A Vibrant Life?
By · January 17, 2010 · CommentsWe are more attractive when we choose to lead vibrant lives
In an article by Thomas Moore, author of The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life As An Act of Love , he muses …”we are distrustful of the life that continues to course through us in spite of our efforts at stability and security. We would prefer that life were not quite so lively.”
He goes on to make the point that the remarkable men and women of our time are those who choose to see life as offering them opportunities to lead vibrant lives.
Today, so many of us find ourselves at a crossroads… life is sending us many opportunities to lead a vibrant life.
And, although we may say we are open to those opportunities, we actually would prefer stability and security rather than to fully embrace the changes those opportunities might bring.
The wonderful aspect of awareness is that we are free to make other choices the minute we notice we are choosing stability and security over leading a vibrant life.
Look into your relationships and identify one area in which you have chosen stability and security over vibrancy. Leave a comment below to share your awareness with others.
Now that’s attractive!
QUOTABLE QUOTE:
“God has given each of us our ‘marching orders’.
Our purpose here on Earth is to find those orders and carry them out.
Those orders acknowledge our special gifts .” - Soren Kierkegaard
Who’s Keeping Your Light?
By · December 2, 2009 · CommentsWe are more attractive when we have a lighthouse keeper to tend our light.
As BEE-ing Attraction Strategists, we have each adopted the practice of imagining ourselves as lighthouses….standing firmly and stately on our own personal shore sending out our light so that those who need us may find us and reach us easily.
Today, take the imagery of the lighthouse to a deeper level by considering the mission of the ‘lighthouse keeper’, whose job it is to ensure that the lighthouse is kept in perfect working order.
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The Number One Way to Attract Your Perfect Mate!
By · July 18, 2009 · Comments
The number one way to attract a relationship that is a perfect fit for you is to know what that looks like for YOU.
The Universe we live in is a nurturing, caring, and supportive place. It’s like having a well stocked kitchen where you can cook up anything you want.
The game is you MUST know what you really want!
Here is how we play the game:


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